Stages of Seduction: Actions (Seducing the mind and the heart)

            This post was a long time coming and for that I apologise.

It is probably best if I start this post with a warning. Of course a lot of my posts should come with warnings. J  I am NOT a feminist. I don’t want to do a man’s work; for one thing, I don’t have the muscles for it. I mean, who the hell wants a firefighter who isn’t strong enough to sling me over his shoulder and hall my fat ass out of a burning building?

That said; I DO believe that men and women are equal, equal but different. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and we have to live our lives according to what we are good at.

So, what is the point?

I want to be treated special by a man, because I am special. I want him to hold doors open for me. I want him to open the car door and close it after I get in. I want him to push my chair in at a fancy restaurant. What does he get out of it? I loving giving my man back rubs, leg rubs, cooking his dinner (although I admit I am a terrible cook), I love watching his sports games and cheering him on and I like fetching his coffee or beer. It makes me happy to do things that bring him pleasure.

I look at the whole thing as a win-win situation. He does small things for me, and I do small things for him. That way, we both feel special, for me that’s just part of a loving relationship. It’s not about doing things to get something in return; it’s about caring and giving because you want to. It’s about seducing the mind, and the heart.

That, at long last, brings us to the point of this post. Our actions are an important part of the seduction process. Keep in mind that different actions can be considered seductive depending on the situation. When a man you just met, or just discovered your attraction to, tucks a stray curl behind your ear, he is seducing you. The same action from the man you’ve been with for ten years can be seductive, or simply caring. The distinction is small, but it is there. For the purpose of this post, we are assuming seduction by someone you know, but are not yet intimate with.

            There are dozens, maybe hundreds or thousands of actions that are seductive (or repulsive if he’s a creep.)

Gosh, is there anything better than that first soft smile from across the room, the one that says “I’ve noticed you.” Or maybe that sexy wink and smile? Or how about some of these:

Noticing you need a drink

Bringing you flowers

Massaging your neck

Holding your hand

Opening doors for you

Casually touching your hair or tucking that stray hair behind your ear

Brushing the back of his hand gently across your cheek

Gentle touches of your hand or arm

A soft brushing of his foot against yours under the table

A text message out of the blue for no reason

Carrying your packages (even when they are light)

A quick hug when he sees you and it lasts just a second too long to be just friendly

Reaching across the table to feed you his fries, one by one

The soft touch of his hand at the base of your spine as he leads you someplace quiet to chat

 Many of us are in long term relationships, or are married. That doesn’t mean actions can’t still seduce our hearts and minds. Think about how you feel when he …

            Surprises you with flowers or a small gift for no reason

            Cooks you a special meal

            Does the housework as a surprise

            Fixes you a bubble bath

            Takes the kids out for a few hours so you can be alone

            Brings you drinks or coffee without asking

            Anticipates your needs

            Plans a special seduction

            Waits for you INSIDE the lingerie store without seeming creepy or embarrassed

            You may have noticed that most of these actions are not sexual in any way at all. That’s the point! When I think about the actions of seduction, I don’t think about seducing your body, but rather seducing the mind.

            Any halfway good looking person can be sexually attractive, and in the right circumstances, with the right touches can seduce your body, but it takes special effort to seduce a woman’s mind, and even more so to seduce her heart.

           Here's a question for you: What special action is sure to seduce your mind, or your heart?

Hugs
Katie

           

Stages of Seduction: Those Innocent Touches

            Today I continue with my Stages of Seduction Series. I’ve already covered visual attraction. Now we move on to touch.

Initially, I had thought it would be easy to define and describe the sensual, seductive touch, but as I ponder it, I find that putting it into words isn’t as simple as one might have thought. We aren’t all moved by the same things, and what is an obvious attempt at seduction for some is less obvious for others and there is always that gray area in between.

For the purpose of this post, I’m not talking about touching during lovemaking, but rather the kind of touching that leads us there, the caresses that over time bring two people together intimately. I’m talking touch between people who just met, strangers, friends, or lovers.

This is a visual post. Take off your filters, read and visualize the scenarios I’m about to portray. Picture this happening to YOU. Think about how it makes you feel. This isn’t about the brain; it is about the body and the heart and sometimes, if we are lucky, the soul.

 

Start by thinking back to your high school dating days. (Try not to focus on how many years ago it was.) Remember going on that first date, how tentative you were, how unsure of how things were going. Then, as you walked along, he took your hand and held it in his. Can you feel the thrill you felt knowing that you were wanted, that you were special? Remember that deep down tingle that went zinging through you at the feel of his calloused palm on yours. That’s the kind of touching I am talking about.

            I’m thinking of the subtle touching that is almost a prelude to foreplay, yet is part of it. The soft brush of finger tips as you pass him a drink. Or that moment when you shake a man’s hand and he holds yours just a moment too long or traces his fingers across your palm as your hands separate. Or, hugging a dear friend and his hand trails slowly down your arm to grip your hand briefly before falling away.

            Picture a gentle, teasing tug on your hair or the soft caress of his fingers brushing your cheek as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

Remember the whisper soft touch of a foot under the table at the restaurant, or the ‘accidental’ brushing of shoulders or thighs before pulling away only to return a moment later.

            What about that time you hugged him in greeting and thought maybe, just maybe, his lips brushed across your ear? Or maybe that moment when he stepped in to join the group’s conversation; did his hand just brush lightly across your backside? Was that a squeeze? Or did you just imagine his touch and the thrill that came with it?           

            These are the kinds of touches that start the slow fires of arousal burning. The best part is that this fire is slow to die. Each touch is sensual, erotic and arousing on its own, but added together, even days or weeks apart they fan the fire until it is a raging inferno of desire that threatens to consume us unless we act on it. These touches are the earliest stages of foreplay. They are the touches that say “I want you, I need you. Where will this take us?” Sometimes they are part of that special flirting that goes on between people attracted to each other who dare not take it any further, when it is enough to know that you share something special. 

Here’s hoping you’ve got some touching and hugging in your life.

Hugs
Katie