Sunday, 20 May 2012

Top Ten Reasons Your Husband Should Leave You Alone While You Are Writing

1.      It takes time to get your head into the story and every interruption slows that process down.

2.      Being asked for coffee or lunch interrupts the flow of your plotting and makes you angry (unless he is bringing you coffee, chocolate or pizza.)

3.      The characters in your story are shy and will hide away for hours after your husband shows up and peeks into their private lives.

4.      It sucks when you start typing what hubby is saying instead of the thoughts in your head that make up your scene. And why does he always show up when the writing is going well?

5.      It is pretty easy to kill your husband off in a manuscript and there is no body to bury. (Just saying …)

6.      There is no way this gig will ever pay unless you complete something and get it published.

7.      It is difficult to write a sex scene with someone reading over your shoulder. (Does your hubby really want to read about your perfect fantasy man?)

8.      It is totally embarrassing when hubby reads a replay of last night’s naked mattress grappling with him as part of your current work in progress.

9.      It is even worse when he interrupts you, reads your sex scene and discovers that your new adventurous side is just you play acting a scene from your book to see if it is logistically feasible. 

10.  I can be a problem if hubby interrupts when you are writing erotica as he might get ravished. (Oh wait, is that a bad thing?)

Okay, this is really just tongue in cheek. I really don’t have any intention of killing of my man, in a literary sense or literally. LOL. If I killed him in a story, he would still be bugging me in real life and if I killed him in real life, I would just have to stop writing to dig a honking big hole in the back yard.


Friday, 4 May 2012

Restoring My Faith in Humanity

                Regular readers of this blog will have noticed that on occasion I use this space to vent about my life, its issues and my problems. They will be delighted to learn that today I am NOT going to vent. Today I celebrate!

            There is a lot of ugliness is the world. Open any newspaper, turn on the radio, the television or fire up the Internet and you will find countless stories of the atrocities people commit against each other. Over the years it seems that we are feeling increasing despair for our youth and are complaining about how cruel and selfish they can be. A lot of those stories are true, some of them are sensationalised.

But what about the kids that aren’t total screw-ups? Why do we never hear about them? Do they not exist? Can all of our youth be as bad as the media makes them out to be?

            Today I saw something that restored my faith in humanity and in our youth.

            While I was out-and-about with a friend, we pulled up to a light and there, at the side of the road, we saw an elderly woman who had lost control of her walker/chair, had fallen off the curb and landed on top of her walker. We had no more than noticed her when we saw a teenage boy sprint through moving traffic to her side. It was clear that she was unable to stand up unassisted. As he gently helped her up, three other boys dodged the traffic to help.

            Working together, they gently set her on her feet, righted her walker, reattached its basket and returned her parcels to the basket. Although we couldn’t hear their words, their expressions showed that they were reassuring her and making certain that she wasn’t injured.

            It was a very touching moment, and lasted less than the duration of a red light, but it was enough to remind my friend and I that good does still exist in this world, and there are still young people unselfish enough to help a stranger and ensure she was unharmed. Sadly, it is unlikely that the local media will ever hear of this kindness and the world will be poorer for not knowing about this not-so-small act of kindness by our youth.

            To those four boys, I would like to say “Thank you. You’ve done a good deed and should be proud of yourselves.”

            My faith in today’s youth, in humanity, is restored.


Thursday, 3 May 2012

Stages of Seduction: Actions (Seducing the mind and the heart)

            This post was a long time coming and for that I apologise.

It is probably best if I start this post with a warning. Of course a lot of my posts should come with warnings. J  I am NOT a feminist. I don’t want to do a man’s work; for one thing, I don’t have the muscles for it. I mean, who the hell wants a firefighter who isn’t strong enough to sling me over his shoulder and hall my fat ass out of a burning building?

That said; I DO believe that men and women are equal, equal but different. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and we have to live our lives according to what we are good at.

So, what is the point?

I want to be treated special by a man, because I am special. I want him to hold doors open for me. I want him to open the car door and close it after I get in. I want him to push my chair in at a fancy restaurant. What does he get out of it? I loving giving my man back rubs, leg rubs, cooking his dinner (although I admit I am a terrible cook), I love watching his sports games and cheering him on and I like fetching his coffee or beer. It makes me happy to do things that bring him pleasure.

I look at the whole thing as a win-win situation. He does small things for me, and I do small things for him. That way, we both feel special, for me that’s just part of a loving relationship. It’s not about doing things to get something in return; it’s about caring and giving because you want to. It’s about seducing the mind, and the heart.

That, at long last, brings us to the point of this post. Our actions are an important part of the seduction process. Keep in mind that different actions can be considered seductive depending on the situation. When a man you just met, or just discovered your attraction to, tucks a stray curl behind your ear, he is seducing you. The same action from the man you’ve been with for ten years can be seductive, or simply caring. The distinction is small, but it is there. For the purpose of this post, we are assuming seduction by someone you know, but are not yet intimate with.

            There are dozens, maybe hundreds or thousands of actions that are seductive (or repulsive if he’s a creep.)

Gosh, is there anything better than that first soft smile from across the room, the one that says “I’ve noticed you.” Or maybe that sexy wink and smile? Or how about some of these:

Noticing you need a drink
Bringing you flowers
Massaging your neck
Holding your hand
Opening doors for you
Casually touching your hair or tucking that stray hair behind your ear
Brushing the back of his hand gently across your cheek
Gentle touches of your hand or arm
A soft brushing of his foot against yours under the table
A text message out of the blue for no reason
Carrying your packages (even when they are light)
A quick hug when he sees you and it lasts just a second too long to be just friendly
Reaching across the table to feed you his fries, one by one
The soft touch of his hand at the base of your spine as he leads you someplace quiet to chat

 Many of us are in long term relationships, or are married. That doesn’t mean actions can’t still seduce our hearts and minds. Think about how you feel when he …

            Surprises you with flowers or a small gift for no reason
            Cooks you a special meal
            Does the housework as a surprise
            Fixes you a bubble bath
            Takes the kids out for a few hours so you can be alone
            Brings you drinks or coffee without asking
            Anticipates your needs
            Plans a special seduction
            Waits for you INSIDE the lingerie store without seeming creepy or embarrassed

            You may have noticed that most of these actions are not sexual in any way at all. That’s the point! When I think about the actions of seduction, I don’t think about seducing your body, but rather seducing the mind.

            Any halfway good looking person can be sexually attractive, and in the right circumstances, with the right touches can seduce your body, but it takes special effort to seduce a woman’s mind, and even more so to seduce her heart.
           Here's a question for you: What special action is sure to seduce your mind, or your heart?