Thursday, 3 May 2012

Stages of Seduction: Actions (Seducing the mind and the heart)

            This post was a long time coming and for that I apologise.

It is probably best if I start this post with a warning. Of course a lot of my posts should come with warnings. J  I am NOT a feminist. I don’t want to do a man’s work; for one thing, I don’t have the muscles for it. I mean, who the hell wants a firefighter who isn’t strong enough to sling me over his shoulder and hall my fat ass out of a burning building?

That said; I DO believe that men and women are equal, equal but different. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and we have to live our lives according to what we are good at.

So, what is the point?

I want to be treated special by a man, because I am special. I want him to hold doors open for me. I want him to open the car door and close it after I get in. I want him to push my chair in at a fancy restaurant. What does he get out of it? I loving giving my man back rubs, leg rubs, cooking his dinner (although I admit I am a terrible cook), I love watching his sports games and cheering him on and I like fetching his coffee or beer. It makes me happy to do things that bring him pleasure.

I look at the whole thing as a win-win situation. He does small things for me, and I do small things for him. That way, we both feel special, for me that’s just part of a loving relationship. It’s not about doing things to get something in return; it’s about caring and giving because you want to. It’s about seducing the mind, and the heart.

That, at long last, brings us to the point of this post. Our actions are an important part of the seduction process. Keep in mind that different actions can be considered seductive depending on the situation. When a man you just met, or just discovered your attraction to, tucks a stray curl behind your ear, he is seducing you. The same action from the man you’ve been with for ten years can be seductive, or simply caring. The distinction is small, but it is there. For the purpose of this post, we are assuming seduction by someone you know, but are not yet intimate with.

            There are dozens, maybe hundreds or thousands of actions that are seductive (or repulsive if he’s a creep.)

Gosh, is there anything better than that first soft smile from across the room, the one that says “I’ve noticed you.” Or maybe that sexy wink and smile? Or how about some of these:

Noticing you need a drink
Bringing you flowers
Massaging your neck
Holding your hand
Opening doors for you
Casually touching your hair or tucking that stray hair behind your ear
Brushing the back of his hand gently across your cheek
Gentle touches of your hand or arm
A soft brushing of his foot against yours under the table
A text message out of the blue for no reason
Carrying your packages (even when they are light)
A quick hug when he sees you and it lasts just a second too long to be just friendly
Reaching across the table to feed you his fries, one by one
The soft touch of his hand at the base of your spine as he leads you someplace quiet to chat

 Many of us are in long term relationships, or are married. That doesn’t mean actions can’t still seduce our hearts and minds. Think about how you feel when he …

            Surprises you with flowers or a small gift for no reason
            Cooks you a special meal
            Does the housework as a surprise
            Fixes you a bubble bath
            Takes the kids out for a few hours so you can be alone
            Brings you drinks or coffee without asking
            Anticipates your needs
            Plans a special seduction
            Waits for you INSIDE the lingerie store without seeming creepy or embarrassed

            You may have noticed that most of these actions are not sexual in any way at all. That’s the point! When I think about the actions of seduction, I don’t think about seducing your body, but rather seducing the mind.

            Any halfway good looking person can be sexually attractive, and in the right circumstances, with the right touches can seduce your body, but it takes special effort to seduce a woman’s mind, and even more so to seduce her heart.
           Here's a question for you: What special action is sure to seduce your mind, or your heart?



  1. It does sound like you're still a feminist, Katie. :) Jobs such as firefighting require a physical fitness that has to be proven and maintained. I sure couldn't do it either. But equality, and wanting equality, is feminism. :)

    1. My issue with the firefighter thing is that they have lowered standards for women in many places.

      I don't consider myself a feminist, because every feminist I have ever met seems to believe that being equal means giving up the right to be a housewife and stay at home mother. So many believe that if you don't have a career, you aren't worthy. I have lost track of how many times I was asked "But don't you have a real job?" As if raising my kids has no value.

      Like I said, men and women are different. We need to celebrate those differences and rejoice in them.

      My idea of equality is about being free to choose to be what I want to be, and not having to be what other people think is acceptable. It's about hiring the best "man" for the job without considering gender or other superficial factors.

      Rant finished!



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