Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Stages of Seduction: Visual Attraction

            I have two blogs; one for my writing and one for my other career. Blog postings can be quite a chore some times. Other times, inspiration just appears and the words fly. On a rare occasion, I write I posts that do double duty and get posted on both blogs. Typically, I don’t find it that difficult to find the words once I have a topic, but there are times (days, weeks, months) that topics are scarcer than fifty dollar bills in a pole dancer’s G-string.

You already know that I read dozens of blogs on a variety of subjects, I spend time in an adult chat room, I read just about anything I can get my hands on, I talk to anybody who doesn’t walk away from me, I eavesdrop at every opportunity and I belong to a number of writer’s forums and chat groups. I’ve mentioned inspirations before, but recently I had an inspiration handed to me on a silver platter. I was chatting away one evening and bemoaning the fact that coming up with ideas for a post could be difficult at times. The person I was chatting with suggested a post about the role of touch in seduction. (Thanks Grant.) This got me to thinking . . . (always a chancy proposition.)

What I started thinking about were the stages of seduction. No, that isn’t quite right, it was techniques of seduction. Maybe technique isn’t the right word either. Anyway … I started thinking about stories and instructional books I have read. (Yes I read sex manuals!) This led me to thinking of times I have been attracted to other people, or learned that they were attracted to me. What factors come into play? Here’s the list I came up with: looks, touch, smell, actions, and words. So the cunning plan is to do a short series of posts on seduction, although I’m sure this list will grow as I write about each factor.

The first thing that springs to mind when thinking about seduction and attraction is looks. We see another person, and instantly make a judgement about them. I don’t think this is a conscious decision, rather it is instinctive. We’ve all been there… walking through the mall, or the zoo or the office, almost oblivious to those around us. Sure the occasional person stands out, the well-dressed woman, the teenager with his pants half way to his ankles, or the screaming kid. But what makes us suddenly think Holy Hell that man is f’ing gorgeous? Why does one person jump out at us more than everyone else?

Sometimes, there is just something about a person’s looks that draws us to them, and what intrigues me is vastly different from what interests my friends. My friend Amy (names changed to protect the guilty) loves a full head of long, thick hair on a man. I say meh. Bev loves a man in a suit; Cassy only drools over body-builder types; Angel loves tattoos; Jessie loves a man on a motorbike. Katie (that’s me) goes gaga over a smile and a twinkling eye.

When I see a man smiling, and the smile reaches his eyes and makes them twinkle … look out; it’s instant attraction. I can’t help but smile back, I get all weak kneed and drooly. I don’t care if he’s in a suit or work clothes, has hair or is bald. Although I confess that I’m not a fan of facial hair on a guy. Give me clean shaven anytime! Especially freshly shaven with just a hint of aftershave lotion. Yummy.

Now, this initial attraction isn’t something we can control. I’ve seen guys that were just plain ole smokin’ hot, objectively speaking, and they didn’t move me nearly as much as their average looking friend with the great big smile. It wasn’t that long ago that I was out for breakfast with a girlfriend. (Is it bad that my favorite breakfast restaurant always sits us in the back away from other customers?) Anyway, we were seated near this table of men. Plenty of eye-candy there! We started talking about the guys. Come on, you know you do it too. You girls ogle the men and you guys drool over the chicks…nothing to be ashamed of here.

Sorry, I digress. Guy number one wore a high end suit, number two wore jeans and a dress shirt, three and four wore jeans and t-shirts.

Bev says, “Look at the blonde,” meaning the guy in the suit with the perfectly styled hair. A quick glance, and all I could think was, “He uses more hair product than I do.” Granted, he was cute, but to my mind, not nearly as drool-worthy as the guy sitting beside him. Dress shirt guy wasn’t nearly as cute as suit-man, but he sat there in his button-down shirt with his well-trimmed hair and receding hairline, a great big grin and laughing eyes. Yup, definitely drool-worthy! Now there was my kind of man. There is just something hot about a big smile and twinkling eyes!

He and I shared a few smiles and flirtations looks and when he got up to leave and winked at me, I nearly orgasmed on the spot. Holy Hamburgers Batman! (I won’t even mention his fine, fine backside or the fact that he dropped his business card beside my coffee cup.)

Anyway, to make a long story short … what attracts us is different for everybody. You’ve all seen the stunning women with the weird, frumpy man, or the reverse and wonder how such a less than average person ended up with someone so gorgeous. But, how does this fit into seduction?

Without some kind of initial attraction, seduction just isn’t going to happen, plain and simple. Sure, this initial attraction can come from actions or personality as well, but we are visual creatures and what pleases our eyes often pleases our libido as well.

Part and parcel with this is deliberately attracting someone with our looks. We dress up to go on dates, we buy sexy lingerie to stir the libido and titillate our men, we parade around in high heels that kill our feet, or CFM boots. (Come-fuck-me boots: those thigh-high leather or suede boots…what women wouldn’t kill to be able to wear them all the time? I know I would live in them if I didn’t have stumps for legs.) We wear double-your-cleavage bras, low-cut or tight shirts, short skirts. We style our hair to look sleek or better yet sexy and just-fucked. It is all part of the game. We smile flirtatiously at the men we know, or strangers. We act coy and innocent all the while making it clear with our direct eye contact and tracing our tongue across our lips that we are attracted. The list of little things we do to visually attract a mate is almost endless, but it is a big part of the game of seduction.

So what attracts you? Is it the man in uniform? The jock? The geek? The model-like blonde woman? The fiery red-head? Have you ever really thought about it? What is YOUR type?


Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

With today being February 14th, one’s mind naturally turns to Valentine’s Day.

I started my day way to early today. I crawled out of bed and was out the door by seven. I was off to the local lab to have some blood taken for routine blood work. Ick. Danged blood-thirsty ghouls took seven vials. While I waited my turn, I listened to a couple of gentlemen chatting about what they planned to get for their significant other. Blondie had purchased a ruby ring and was going to present it during dinner at a high restaurant in town. Baldy (who was waaaay cuter by the way) had ordered flowers delivered to his SO’s office and was planning on cooking dinner for her. To me, both of these seemed like lovely gifts, particularly the cooked dinner part.

Back in the car, the radio blathered on about what constituted a good gift. By my count, they had it entirely wrong. It’s not about how much you spend, or even spending anything at all. It is about the thought that goes into the gift. It made me start thinking of what made a good gift. Now I know that my idea of a good gift often differs greatly from that of my friends, but here are some thoughts:

Decorative Items:  I am opposed to any more clutter. I’ve got enough of it, and am trying to thin things down. So no more brick-a-brack for the cats to break.
Clothing: Nope, never. The chances of it fitting and me liking it are slim to none.
A Vacation: Strangely, again I have to say nope. I want to be involved in choosing the destination and planning the activities.
Jewellery: Always a hit for me, but remember I like silver, not gold. This is mostly because I love the color of silver, and because I tend to lose things.
Kitchen Appliances: Yes, absolutely. Especially if it is one that I need. (Okay, so I’m weird that way.)
Spa Gift Certificate: I’m unsure about this one, as I have never received one, nor gone to a spa…
Book Store Gift Certificates: Sure because I love to read, but I do feel that gift certificates are cop-outs. Best make it for Amazon ... because I LOVE my Kindle.
Chocolate: Hell no! My ass is big enough already. But some Hot Tamales would not go unappreciated!
Flowers: Hell yeah. I love receiving flowers, especially those little flowering plants.
Greeting Cards: Too Cliche and frankly over time they just add to the clutter. Maybe a nice hand written love letter. But no cards please, unless they are dry and sarcastic.

So what then do I want for Valentine’s Day?

This year, I received the perfect gift. I arrived home from the lab to receive a big hug and a kiss, a fresh pot of coffee and a warm declaration of love. This lovely greeting was followed up by a fabulous back and shoulder massage. Mmmm. Nothing like the gift of love and a nice chunk of your valuable time. A gift of your yourself!  Both kids dropped over with hugs and kisses too. And when I checked my e-mail and text messages this morning, I had a number of warm Valentine’s wishes from my friends. And really, that’s all this girl really needs . . . to know her friends and loved ones are thinking of her.

Love doesn’t come with a price-tag. It is enough to know you care.

Hugs and Valentine’s Kisses to you!

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Caution: Nut Job Behind the Wheel

      Okay, I admit it. I may not be the best driver on the planet. It’s true!

       I have a serious tendency to be aggressive. I drive an ancient Honda that gets great gas mileage. The trouble is that I drive a wee-bit faster than I should sometimes. I have received a couple of Fast-Driving Awards in my day and have been in the occasional accident. In high school, I backed into some old battle-axe’s car in a parking lot. (I blame her; she wasn’t there when I shoulder checked and started backing up.) Once, a dozen years ago, I managed to center punch my suburban on a light standard in a Safeway parking lot. On the plus side, I didn’t hit the kid I saw darting through the parking lot. Although my innate honesty forces me to tell you that she wasn’t nearly as close as I thought she was. (I see a theme here, maybe I should avoid parking lots!)

So yeah, I am not a perfect driver, although I am scrupulously careful in playground and school zones. I don’t text while I drive, and I have a Bluetooth thingy for my cell phone.

I do have a couple of driving pet peeves. Learn how to merge people. Speed up to match the flow of traffic you are joining, and the rest of you make a gap! And can we please, please, please watch the lights and get moving when it turns green. Oh, and those speed signs, can we make an attempt to get to posted speed in less than five minutes and can we travel the posted speed. I’m not asking you to exceed the speed limit, just get there!

Okay, enough venting, on to the positive part of a road trip, the music.

            My previous post was on the shameful tunes on my Ipod. Today’s post kind of ties into that. I love music. Yup, it’s true. I get in the car and turn the radio from talk-radio to music. (Why does my man listen to that?) I have five classic rock and one country station pre-set on the radio. (And two classic rock for another city that I visit often.) I start pushing buttons until something moves me and I start singing along. (The car is too old to have a CD player.)

            I back out of the driveway, and I’m off. Recently, I noticed that I get a lot of funny looks while I am driving and singing away. I’ll be stopped at a light, sun glasses on, reading glasses on top of my head, Bluetooth in, and caterwauling away to the music. Teenagers look at me like I’m some kind of a nut job. Small kids smile and wave. Women glare at me. Old people ignore me and men smile.

            I thought it was just a coincidence, but I started paying closer attention to the reactions of the folks around me while I sing and drive. Rarely do I get an unexpected reaction. Although, one lady looked at me, and said to her friend, “Oh my God, look at her.” (Lip reading. LOL) Now, that just made my day.

Now I admit I’ve seen people rocking-out while they drive and it makes me smile. I love pulling up alongside someone when you can tell they are shouting the lyrics at the top of their voices. It just makes me laugh. The teenagers really crack me up, because as soon as they notice that you are looking, they stop singing. Too funny! Me, I don’t care what you think of my singing, or how silly I look. I’m just having fun.

So keep your eye out for me when you’re touring around. I’ll be the brunette with the wild-out-of-control hair, tortoise shell sunglasses, reading glasses and Bluetooth, singing away at the top of her voice and driving her wee Honda like a cross between a tank and a Porsche.