Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Stages of Seduction: Visual Attraction
I have two blogs; one for my writing and one for my other career. Blog postings can be quite a chore some times. Other times, inspiration just appears and the words fly. On a rare occasion, I write I posts that do double duty and get posted on both blogs. Typically, I don’t find it that difficult to find the words once I have a topic, but there are times (days, weeks, months) that topics are scarcer than fifty dollar bills in a pole dancer’s G-string.
You already know that I read dozens of blogs on a variety of subjects, I spend time in an adult chat room, I read just about anything I can get my hands on, I talk to anybody who doesn’t walk away from me, I eavesdrop at every opportunity and I belong to a number of writer’s forums and chat groups. I’ve mentioned inspirations before, but recently I had an inspiration handed to me on a silver platter. I was chatting away one evening and bemoaning the fact that coming up with ideas for a post could be difficult at times. The person I was chatting with suggested a post about the role of touch in seduction. (Thanks Grant.) This got me to thinking . . . (always a chancy proposition.)
What I started thinking about were the stages of seduction. No, that isn’t quite right, it was techniques of seduction. Maybe technique isn’t the right word either. Anyway … I started thinking about stories and instructional books I have read. (Yes I read sex manuals!) This led me to thinking of times I have been attracted to other people, or learned that they were attracted to me. What factors come into play? Here’s the list I came up with: looks, touch, smell, actions, and words. So the cunning plan is to do a short series of posts on seduction, although I’m sure this list will grow as I write about each factor.
The first thing that springs to mind when thinking about seduction and attraction is looks. We see another person, and instantly make a judgement about them. I don’t think this is a conscious decision, rather it is instinctive. We’ve all been there… walking through the mall, or the zoo or the office, almost oblivious to those around us. Sure the occasional person stands out, the well-dressed woman, the teenager with his pants half way to his ankles, or the screaming kid. But what makes us suddenly think Holy Hell that man is f’ing gorgeous? Why does one person jump out at us more than everyone else?
Sometimes, there is just something about a person’s looks that draws us to them, and what intrigues me is vastly different from what interests my friends. My friend Amy (names changed to protect the guilty) loves a full head of long, thick hair on a man. I say meh. Bev loves a man in a suit; Cassy only drools over body-builder types; Angel loves tattoos; Jessie loves a man on a motorbike. Katie (that’s me) goes gaga over a smile and a twinkling eye.
When I see a man smiling, and the smile reaches his eyes and makes them twinkle … look out; it’s instant attraction. I can’t help but smile back, I get all weak kneed and drooly. I don’t care if he’s in a suit or work clothes, has hair or is bald. Although I confess that I’m not a fan of facial hair on a guy. Give me clean shaven anytime! Especially freshly shaven with just a hint of aftershave lotion. Yummy.
Now, this initial attraction isn’t something we can control. I’ve seen guys that were just plain ole smokin’ hot, objectively speaking, and they didn’t move me nearly as much as their average looking friend with the great big smile. It wasn’t that long ago that I was out for breakfast with a girlfriend. (Is it bad that my favorite breakfast restaurant always sits us in the back away from other customers?) Anyway, we were seated near this table of men. Plenty of eye-candy there! We started talking about the guys. Come on, you know you do it too. You girls ogle the men and you guys drool over the chicks…nothing to be ashamed of here.
Sorry, I digress. Guy number one wore a high end suit, number two wore jeans and a dress shirt, three and four wore jeans and t-shirts.
Bev says, “Look at the blonde,” meaning the guy in the suit with the perfectly styled hair. A quick glance, and all I could think was, “He uses more hair product than I do.” Granted, he was cute, but to my mind, not nearly as drool-worthy as the guy sitting beside him. Dress shirt guy wasn’t nearly as cute as suit-man, but he sat there in his button-down shirt with his well-trimmed hair and receding hairline, a great big grin and laughing eyes. Yup, definitely drool-worthy! Now there was my kind of man. There is just something hot about a big smile and twinkling eyes!
He and I shared a few smiles and flirtations looks and when he got up to leave and winked at me, I nearly orgasmed on the spot. Holy Hamburgers Batman! (I won’t even mention his fine, fine backside or the fact that he dropped his business card beside my coffee cup.)
Anyway, to make a long story short … what attracts us is different for everybody. You’ve all seen the stunning women with the weird, frumpy man, or the reverse and wonder how such a less than average person ended up with someone so gorgeous. But, how does this fit into seduction?
Without some kind of initial attraction, seduction just isn’t going to happen, plain and simple. Sure, this initial attraction can come from actions or personality as well, but we are visual creatures and what pleases our eyes often pleases our libido as well.
Part and parcel with this is deliberately attracting someone with our looks. We dress up to go on dates, we buy sexy lingerie to stir the libido and titillate our men, we parade around in high heels that kill our feet, or CFM boots. (Come-fuck-me boots: those thigh-high leather or suede boots…what women wouldn’t kill to be able to wear them all the time? I know I would live in them if I didn’t have stumps for legs.) We wear double-your-cleavage bras, low-cut or tight shirts, short skirts. We style our hair to look sleek or better yet sexy and just-fucked. It is all part of the game. We smile flirtatiously at the men we know, or strangers. We act coy and innocent all the while making it clear with our direct eye contact and tracing our tongue across our lips that we are attracted. The list of little things we do to visually attract a mate is almost endless, but it is a big part of the game of seduction.
So what attracts you? Is it the man in uniform? The jock? The geek? The model-like blonde woman? The fiery red-head? Have you ever really thought about it? What is YOUR type?