Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Toxic People: Ditch Them!

Before I get started on this mini-rant, let me make it perfectly clear that I am not a mental health professional in any capacity. What I am is a writer; I write about what interests me and I always call it as it see it. Today I am talking about something that I have found works for me and that is saving your own sanity by getting rid of the toxic people in your life.

There are all types of people in this world. Some are good, some are bad, most lie someplace in between. Some are great people, but just don’t mix well with you. (Yes I know, that actually makes three types, but go with it.)

Overall, I’m a pretty easy-going individual.  I get along with most people and I try to find the good in everyone. I can put up with just about anyone for short periods of time. With some people this is a lot more difficult than with others. I have known people who just plain irritate me. I’ve known whiners, criers, bitchers, perverts, creeps and users. But I’ve also known smilers, helpers, singers and huggers.

There are, and always will be people who bring out the worst in us; people who elicit a negative reaction. Here are a few of the types of people I have cut out of my life or have reduced contact with as much as is humanly possible.
Angry Anita: nothing is ever good enough, she is always mad about something.
Bragging Becky: brags about everything. Hers is the best, the biggest, the brightest.
Dramatic Danielle: Everything she does is for full dramatic effect. Nothing so bad ever happened to you; hers was worse. She just rolls from one crisis to the next.
Creepy Cas: there is just something about him that sets my skin on edge and creeps me out.
Critical Cal: finds fault in everything. Nothing is ever good enough. It’s too big, too small, too lose, too tight, too hot, too cold, it’s just plain too!
Free-loader Fred: never pays his way, begs, borrows or steals everything he needs, shows up just in time for dinner.
Holy Roller Ralph: judges you against his idea of what God wants from you and tells you how you fail.
Joking Jerry: nothing is ever serious; life is all one big joke.
Lying Lisa: never tells the truth if a lie will work.
Moody Melody: her mood swings like the tides. Up, down, back, forth, happy, sad.
Negative Nellie: everything she says and does is negative and depressing. There is no positive in her world.
Pitiful Paula: whines and cries continually about how bad her life is.
Pervert Pete: can’t carry on a conversation without making a pass.
Selfish Stan: everything is about him and what the world owes him.
Take Credit Tanis: She is sure to take credit for all your hard work and pass the buck when things go wrong.
Thieving Thelma: steals something from every place she goes. Stores, restaurants, homes etc.
Using Ursula: life is all about what she can get from everyone and how she can use the system to her benefit.
Vampire Vanessa: you can’t put your finger on what it is, but when you spend time with Vanessa, you come away feeling like your emotions have been sucked right out of you. You are dry, worn-out and beat. You just can’t take another thing and have nothing left; good or bad.
Whining Wanda: it isn’t what she says, but how she says it with a continual whine in her voice.
Woe is Me Wally: Everything is negative; he is always put upon and hard done by.

Let’s compare these Negative Nellie’s with the kind of people I choose to keep in my life.

Affectionate Andrea: Never hesitates to be caring and affectionate. Loves us all.
Calm Clarissa: helping us maintain calm and rational.
Caring Colleen: Cares for everyone. A nurturer and helpmate.
Courteous Cassandra: Mindful of manners and the feelings of others.
Diplomatic Dianne: Always manages to get her point across diplomatically.
Enthusiastic Emma: filling each day with enthusiasm and excitement.
Fair-minded Fanny: Tries to see the issue from all sides before voicing her opinion.
Friendly Francine: Warm and welcoming to everyone she meets.
Generous Gina: Helps out where needed, happily shares what she has.
Gentle Greta: A soft, caring individual. Gentle with everyone, even when she is upset.
Gracious Gloria: Kind, courteous and pleasant.
Helpful Henry: ready to help out where he can.
Honest Ollie: Strict with the truth, even if it sometimes hurts.
Hugging Hank: With a ready hug to comfort and cheer you up. We all need hugs every day.
Humorous Harry: Bringing fun and laughs to us all.
Joyful Jodie: Always finds the joy, the bright side, the silver lining.
Loving Lisa: She is the girl with a hug and kindness for everyone.
Kindly Kelly: Ready with a kind word or helping hand.
Positive Paulina: Finding the positive in every person and in every moment.
Reliable Rita: You can always count on her to follow through on her word.
Singing Sandra: She may not always be singing, but she puts a song in your heart every time.
Smiling Sarah: Always has a smile and a kind word.
Sympathetic Sally: Understands what you are going through.
Warmhearted Wanda: generous, giving, warm hearted and wonderful to be around.

Life and the universe have a way of battering us back and forth and of dishing out crap until we don’t know which way is up. We get enough stress every day without allowing the negative personalities in our lives to bring us down.

We all know people who exhibit negative tendencies to one degree or another. Those aren’t the ones I am talking about. I’m talking about people who only seem to have one personality trait and you can’t break away from it for anything. Their entire being is negativity and dealing with them drains you, angers you, or puts you in a sour mood.

I’m made a determined effort to cut these people out of my life. When push comes to shove, there are only a couple people who I no longer talk to in any capacity. You know the type; you avoid them at all costs, you don’t answer their calls, you turn and walk on the other side of the street when you see them coming.

I have limited my contact with them for my own sanity. Most recently, I’ve cut a bragger free. I got tired of her boasts, lies and stealing credit for other people’s work. The other was a whiner and user who abused charities and spent all her time crying about how hard done she is. When it didn’t leave me spitting mad, contact with these two left me drained and exhausted. So I walked away. I stopped accepting calls and avoid them when I can. While this isn’t always possible, I limit my contact as much as possible.

Cruel? Maybe, but I feel better and there comes a point in our lives that we have to do what is best for us and say to hell with the rest of the world. It was a tough decision, but I really do believe that sometimes we have to ‘man up’ and kick people like this out of our lives.
Think about it!

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