I can’t
wait to read to my grandchildren. I’ve already started a collection of books.
(Okay, I confess, I saved all my own children’s books.) This week we visited
the bookstore and picked out a dozen new board books for her. (Some are for my
house, some are for hers.) At eleven months, she doesn’t have much patience for
sitting, but seems to enjoy me reading to her while she plays with other toys
and she like looking at them on her own. Life is
grand! (We writers want everyone to develop a love of the written word.)
Oh yeah,
this blog started with talk about changes. I nearly forgot where I was going
with that. It always seems that just when I adapt to the current routine,
something new pops up and I have to adapt again. It is a darn good thing that
people have that adaptability skill. I wonder how long it will take me to make
the adjustment from working woman to stay at home grandmother. I am hopeful that
it will be a quick change and that I will find more time to write when I am
finished working; if not in the daytime, perhaps in the evenings.
I need
that writing time. I need to put pen to paper (metaphorically speaking) and
purge the stories that fill my head. Some are short and some are longer; some
of them are downright bizarre, but they all clamour for release. I am hoping,
no I am planning, to make more time for writing down those. And that is good
news for my readers!
It is a
difficult thing when you realize that there are very ugly facets of your
personality. It is painful to think that this might be what people see when
they look at you. I few months ago, I dealt with a particularly fractious and
miserable client at work. She was snappish, argumentative, rude and
disagreeable. She complained about the assortment of foods, the quality of
toys, the leashes, the prices and about many other facets of the store,
including how long it took to get service. It took rather a lot of self-control
not to snap at her and be nasty right back. Truthfully, I don’t know why I didn’t;
typically, I would have.
A few
days later, I popped into Timmy’s to get a coffee. It was crazy busy and I found
my patience wearing thin. At that point, an image of my grumpy customer popped
into my head and I realized that there were days when I act exactly as she did.
It wasn’t a proud moment for me. In fact, I was ashamed at how many times I had
made someone’s life miserable without true cause.
I spent
a lot of time thinking about this. And at length, decided that it was time to
make some changes. I’m doing my best, but it isn’t always easy to be patient
and understanding. Harder still is to continue looking for the best in other people
and to smile.
But you
know what; I think it might be working. Deep inside I feel happier and I think I
am actually becoming a more patient and pleasant person.
A few
weeks ago, a young girl came into the shop and stood by the door looking
worried. She looked to be about ten or twelve. She had one small dog wiggling
in her arms and another on a leash. I offered her help and she declined and
told me that her aunt had told her to wait there for her. I found a spare leash
for the dog in her arms so he could be on the floor, and I talked to her a bit
about the dogs. About fifteen minutes later, her aunt showed up and they were
off.
A few
days later, the aunt came back to the store, and told me that while her niece
had waited inside the store, she was buys tracking down a stray dog that was
running up and down the busy street beside the store. After telling me why she
had sent her niece to wait in the store, she said, “Oh, I’m glad I finally
found you. I’ve been back a couple of times looking for you. I just wanted to
thank you for being so kind to my niece. She said you were very welcoming and
made her feel comfortable while she waited for me. We really appreciate what
you did.” It was touching to be told this by someone who was out risking life
and limb to rescue a stray animal.
Now, the
point of this story isn’t that I am a wonderful person. It’s that I did
something as simple as talking to a child and it made a huge impact on her.
When that woman left, I felt like a million dollars, I want that feeling every day.
Years from now, when I am gone, I want people to think of me and remember the
kindness I have shown them, not the bitchy side that is so easy to let out.
I want
to find the joy in living and being kind and understanding.
I want
to change, for the better. And I am excited to teach the joy of giving and
kindness to my grandchildren. This leopard is trying to change her spots.
Hugs,
Katie